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There is a common misconception about marriage and relationships believed by not only children, but many adults as well. This misconception, started by the utterance of three words; three words that can single handily wreck a marriage. Those words being, “happily ever after.” Why are these words so detrimental? Why do men and women fight? These queries are all resolved by explaining the differences in brain wiring, interests, and communication styles, all lead to the wrecker of marriages; gender conflicts.

In order to comprehend why men and women fight, how men and women operate must first be apprehended, starting with one of the most vital organs in the body; the brain. According to a study of brain scans done by The University of Pennsylvania, during adolescence the brain wiring between the male and female brains begins to differ from one another. (Berenstien). For instance, women have a greater amount of nerve cells on the left side of the brain where language is processed, and have a stronger connection between the two parts of the brain (Legato, 62). In another study done in 2011 by Dr. Ned Jahandshad, a neurologist at The University of South Carolina, 147 females and 87 males brains were studied, and there were found to be differences in the frontal lobe of the brain, which is responsible for speech, self control, and making decisions (Holtz). To illustrate this point, the male and female must be analyzed separately.

There are many diversities between men and women. For one, females are born with slightly different hearing capabilities than men, a newborn female can process sounds better than her male counterpart (Legato, 60-61). Because of this, listening and understanding dialect is easier for women than for men (Legato, 63). Not only do women have different assets than men, but have different values and interests as well. Of course, this is a general statement, as every person varies from the next, but is true for the overwhelming majority of women. Women value feelings, relationships, talking, and beauty (Gray,11) and seek care, understanding, respect, and validation, (Gray, 145) and are generally more emotional than men (Tingley, 116).

On the flip side, men, value trust, acceptance and approval (Gray, 145). And while women are more emotional, men are more rational (Tingley, 116). Mens interests range from sports to the news, as these value strength and achievement, which men value as well (Gray, 9). This would make sense as to why there are more businessmen than women, as men aim for success, strength, and power.

The ability to converse is a gift granted exclusively to mankind. However, men and women often have different agendas for their conversations. While women converse to foster a connection and identify with others, men converse to resolve a problem, or compete with others. Since men and women have different agendas for conversing, their communication styles differ as well, sometimes causing a lack of clarity or misunderstandings. As Joe Tannenbaum writes in his book, Male and Female realities women are “expressers” and men are “resolvers” (Tingley, 27).

Since women converse to kindle a relationship or connection, women will often re-count tales or anecdotes, either to connect to others, or to initiate a conversation (Legato, 81). Women will often use various hand gestures, and facial expressions in order to express their point (Legato, 75). Since females are also more emotional, women are more emotionally attached to others faster, and therefore are more likely to reveal personal information (Eimler, Herkamph, Kruck, and, Papadiks 92).