Discussion
The purpose of this study was to explore the relationship between the
myths of romantic love and TDV (experienced and perpetrated). Our
results indicate a notable acceptance of myths, and a relationship
between accepting myths and the perpetration and experience of abuse in
teen dating relationships. Romantic love myths are widely spread in our
society, being regularly portrayed in media narratives (i.e., movies, music, literature). Consequently, individuals acquire and
internalize myths during their socialization \cite{Ruiz_Palomino_2021}, Although this process may seem innocent, the data suggests that
accepting the myths of romantic love impacts behavior.
We found that the myths about jealousy (i.e., demanding to know where
the SO was at every moment and with whom) were associated with control
or actions aimed at reducing the social interactions of their partner
(e.g., isolation, accusing their SO of flirting online). Another
observed strategy was to diminish the self-esteem and autonomy of their
SO by criticizing their physical appearance or deciding for them.
Interestingly, adolescents rarely consider these behaviors as forms of
violence. Approximately 19% of the sample agreed with the idea ‘not
being jealous means that you do not care about your SO’ and 9% believed
that it was normal for their partners to criticize them. Adolescents
prioritize the needs of their SO above their own assuming that having a
relationship involves renouncing things or doing things they do not want
to or that makes them feel uncomfortable to please their SO. As
previously described, this study was part of a prevention program.
During the sessions, one of the most common responses related to this
topic was unwanted sexual activities, including those described as
unpleasant, humiliating, and even painful. This finding was consistent
with previous studies reporting the pressure that adolescents experience
regarding sexuality \cite{Mustanski_2014}. For example, according to previous studies \cite{Shrier_1998}, 30% of girls and around 10% of boys have been pressured by
their SO to have sex. This is even more alarming for girls, particularly
if we consider the sexist beliefs prevailing in our society (e.g.,
“when girls say no, they mean yes”). However, adolescents may not well
perceive these behaviors as abuse because they are not stereotyped
representations of IPV. These results are consistent with the findings
of Lliebre (2003), who found that adolescents did not consider
psychological or economic abuse as violence. In our study, covert abuse
(psychological and relational) committed by the two members of the
couple was the most common type of violence. This is relevant because it
is also the most difficult to recognize because of its subtle nature \cite{Paat_2019} and
its normalization. Assuming that this type of abuse is experienced and
perpetrated equally in teen dating relationships is important for
intervention. As previously stated, the traditional approach to TDV is
to consider it as a form of IPV, therefore campaigns and resources are
aimed at young girls to identify early signs of violence. However, a
different approach would be needed if TDV is considered a form of abuse
characterized by subtle relational and psychological abuse perpetrated
by boys and girls due to the romanticization of suffering within
relationships. Subtle or covert abuse hinders labeling and obstructs reporting of
abuse. Therefore, despite the abundance of services to assist victims
and campaigns aimed at early intervention \cite{h2020}; these may not be effective
because of the inability of victims to recognize maltreatment until the
advanced stages of the violence dynamic.
Our results also seem to support the hypothesis of bidirectionality.
Adolescents referred to having perpetrated and experienced almost the
same abusive behaviors, which suggests a dynamic of reciprocal abuse.
Since our study focuses on psychological and relational abuse; thus,
this affirmation could not be generalized to physical violence. The
bidirectionality of abuse requires attention because it may reflect the
normalization of violence within the couple. The representation of
romantic love in the traditional narratives idealizes tragedy,
suffering, and abnegation toward the SO. Consequently, it may promote
the romanticization of relationships where pain is synonymous with love \citep{de_Munck_2016}. Finally, representing love as a state in
which people behave guided by a passion that disturbs their judgment has
led to justifying certain crimes (i.e., sentence of domestic violence of
the process 355/15.2. GAFLG.P1, 11 of October 2017, Oporto Justice
Court). Seventy percent of the adolescents composing our sample shared
this idea, agreeing with the statement “it would be difficult to
control my emotions if I discovered that my partner was leaving me.”
These types of ideas are pervasive since they allow justifying violence
perpetration following the idea–real or imagined- that the SO is
thinking about breaking the relationship. In addition, previous studies
have reported a relationship between accepting the myths and lower
perceived severity of the abuse .